Why Bond's a Pussy...and yet not...

Bond. James "Pussy" Bond. Here's the gist of things. My entire makeup of Bond has always been based on childhood viewings of Sean Connery playing the perfect Bond with all these cool gadgets and stuff and always getting the babes. Everyone else after that has been a far second, especially George Lazenby (bet ya didn't know there was a Bond with this idiot too huh). I've yet to see the new Bond movie so I'll save comments on Mr. Craig for later.

 

But here's what I think of Bond...he's a pussy. Everyone thinks his whole Martini act is uber cool but come on, after hitting the legal drinking age and countless head in the toilet bowl scenes, anyone who knows anything bout drinks would know that a Martini (be it a Dirty, Vodka or even Lychee) is usually served stirred. And you know why? Cause if you stir it, it maintains the consistency of the mixture of drinks and most importantly, it doesn't freaking break the ice and dilutes the drink. So when it's shaken not stirred, you're getting a pussified version of a drink. Might as well ask the bartender to add ice water to the drink and serve it up. You'd sorta get the same thing. Hence why all you idiots taking your martinis shaken are prolly being laughed at by everyone else at the barside, including the bartender.

 

That being said, Bond is everything but a pussy. I mean seriously, you've got the cars, the kickass gadgets, a license to beat the shit outta anyone and still look good doing it. Of course you can't forget the women and that Bond is seemingly immune to all known sexually transmitted diseases and still manages to get the next chick with the current chick still on his other hand. The heck, I wanna be Bond....pussy martinis or not.

 

"Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." ~ Winston Churchill

 

Madonna ~ Die Another Day