We All Love Making Lists We Never Get Around To Finishing...

At some point in my life I’d like to:

 

1. Go on some fabulous beach holiday in the Caribbean, sit on a deckchair and have some large breasted native woman in a grass skirt serve me cocktails with lil umbrellas in them.
2. Play in the World Poker Championships and not have to worry bout losing the $10,000 USD entry. Of course I’d rather make it to the final table and get killed there but come on, I’d like to be sliggggggghtly more realistic.
3. Get that freaking number plate I’ve always wanted JY 7 (It’s mine! And jay better stop claiming its his lol…) and be able to put it on a decent car (i.e. something made out of carbon/aluminium and drinks gas like Barry downs whisky and goes 0-100 in a blink of an eye).
4. Stand in the centre of the pitch at the Bernabeu (so far the closest I’ve been is on the edge of the 2^nd level stands) or the San Siro and prance around like a lil kid with a ball.
5. Own my own bar. A nice one. Like a wine/cigar bar of sorts where us guys can always go chill and have a decent meal and not have to shout to be heard even though we’re less than a foot apart. Hmmm any ideas on what to call the place?
6. Have a reunion with old friends when we’re all 30 plus/married/divorced/moving up the career ladder/fleeing from the authorities. To catch up and rekindle old moments. The MC highschool guys would meet up in KL somewhere. The Taylor’s guys at Mee Yoke in Subang (is the damn place still open?). The
   LSE peeps would head back to London to the Three Tuns or the Library courtyard. Man I kinda miss everybody now that everyone’s literally all over the world.
7. Go back to Tkd training. It’s been such a long while since I’ve been back and watching these C-grade martial arts flicks are kinda prompting me to look for my good ol Master Lau once again. Actually wonder if his dad, the grandmaster’s still around…should be…still the fittest/sharpest 70+ yr old I’ve ever known.
8. To have a chalet on one of the nicer/quieter ski slopes on the Swiss Alps. Man I miss going down with no control at all on a blue slope wondering if I’m going to crash into some 5 yr old French kid at the bottom of the piste. Lol
9. Quit smoking. Well prolly will happen when I have kids or when I can’t see my ribs anymore in an x-ray, but I’d guess that’d be a lil too late. :P
10. Have a loving wife, 2.5 kids, 2 dogs (one of which I’d name dogdog despite any memories that are associated with the name cause it is genuinely a damn cute name for a puppy), a cat and live faaaaaar away from the in-laws. lol

"Dream as if you'll live forever, and live as if you'll die tomorrow." ~ James Dean

 

Ray LaMontagne ~ Hold You In My Arms

Deck the hall with bling and hos!

When I was young I always though Santa was this sweet old guy with a long fluffy white beard and weight issues...but well overall such a nice guy that he'll fly around the world with Rudolph and the other reindeers and drop pressies for all the good kids. Then I stopped receiving the pressies I wished for at about 3 years old. Kept getting stuff I didn't really want. Then about 6 I found out Santa wasn't real. Then at about age 23, 1 month and 20 days....I decided...FUCK SANTA.

 

We need new management in place. Have you been naughty or nice? Screw that. I'm taking over the north pole and here's a list of things we need immediate rectification.

1. Santa's ride is so uncool. We need to pimp it up a lil. Add some bling, some spinners, some chrome, some funky paintjob and new upholstery. Heck I'm definitely not gonna wanna ride in some dumbass sleigh with no sunroof, cupholders, ps3, 10 inch plasmas and a rocking sound system. And screw the reindeers. I want a supercharged engine which does 0-100 in 0.1 secs (hey I gotta get around the world to all the parties in time right?). And I figured I know what the upholstery's gonna be like....reindeer hide.
2. The lil elves are being exploited by damn Santa. And besides they work too slowly and I can't be arsed to deal with the Elf Union. So fuck it, all toys are gonna be made in China. At least they're willing to work for below the minimum wage!
3. Santarinas are in desperate need of a new wardrobe. I'm signing up Victoria's Secret as our new "uniform" sponsor and provider. Rufina (btw rufie you so have such a christmas-sy name) has "volunteered" to oversee the revamp of the Santarina department as head Santarina. Btw I did find a lil skimpy red number for you lol *wink*
4. Policy changes are also to take into account that this new Santa is lactose intolerant and not exactly too partial to cookies. So waiting for me at every point of visit should be Cristal and beluga caviar with nice wafers. Failure to do so would well, piss this Santa off. And this Santa aint "nice"...
5. Being nice is fine and stuff. But come on, we all know that being naughty is "oh-so-nice"...

Now go forth people of the world. Christmas is just around the corner. Go get your supply of mistletoe and snog along. There's a new Santa around....Santa-J!

"You smell good. Wanna smell me?" ~ Johnny Bravo

P Diddy feat. Nicole Scherzinger ~ Come to Me

3 Step Rule to Getting Married and Having A Baby Girl

Okie so this is getting a lil weird and freaky. After not hearing from her since I left London she messages me and we get in touch again and the very first thing she tells me is that she’s married and is expecting a baby girl in January. And I must be one of the last  to find out about this too.

 

Oh yeah okie, so I skipped ahead past the typical pleasantries of how are you doing? What have you been up to? Yada yada yada. This makes it 2 now which have somehow ended up married and expecting within 4 years of well the end of a “relationship”-  that’s if you can even call it that which I don’t consider it to be. 1^st one was when I was 15 and even though it was for about a year on-and-off, I seriously doubt you can consider anything at that age a substantial relationship. More of like a first foray into some new unknown territory and getting your feet wet. Things in between then and #2 were more of short term encounters of the other kind. Then again come to think of it #2 was pretty much like that. Hmmm, but I guess there was more of an impact in #2 compared to others prior hence a spot on the list. Lol MW please don’t kick my ass if you should stumble upon this lil ol blog of mine. Honestly speaking, think #3 was about the only proper (lol proper prolly isn’t the most accurate definition tho) relationship, which ended oh sometime last April.

 

It’s a lil strange. I mean I’m honestly happy for them (albeit a lil freaked by the occurrence of it all) and I wish them the best sincerely. Still feels a lil strange to me somewhat. If the last one gets married and expects a baby girl (oh yeah I really don’t know why it’s been a girl for both of them, must be just a matter of coincidence) within the next 4 years that would make it 3 out of 3. And if that does happen here’s what I have to say bout that:

 

3 Step Rule for a Lady if she wants to get married and have a baby girl:

 

Step #1: Go out/hook up with Justin for a short period or any period of time to be honest and be considered, in a very loose interpretation, as being in a relationship.

 

Step #2: Dump Justin’s ass and go see someone else almost immediately.

 

Step #3: Wait 3 – 4 years and you should be happily married and full on preggo with a baby girl.

 

So here’s the deal. In 3 – 4 years time if it turns out to be a strike out, ie 3/3 ie 100% success rate on my hypothesis. I’ll be willing to date any girl for a week or less just so you can put this into practice and meet the guy you wanna marry and father your first daughter. Generosity at its ironic/cynical best…

 

Btw if you’re reading this MJ and MW ya know I’m kidding and everything’s cool. And it’s definitely coincidental more than anything else. Wish you two all the best with the new family.

 

MJ> Have not heard from you in years and have no idea what’s going on. Drop me a line one of these days. Do coffee or something?

 

MW> If you do make that trip down to Singapore we should try and catch up then. Or else I guess I’ll see ya when I get back to London k? And bring the lil rugrat along so I can see if she’s just like mommy =)

"Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another." ~ Marquis de Condorcet

 

Train ~ Drops on Jupiter

Why Bond's a Pussy...and yet not...

Bond. James "Pussy" Bond. Here's the gist of things. My entire makeup of Bond has always been based on childhood viewings of Sean Connery playing the perfect Bond with all these cool gadgets and stuff and always getting the babes. Everyone else after that has been a far second, especially George Lazenby (bet ya didn't know there was a Bond with this idiot too huh). I've yet to see the new Bond movie so I'll save comments on Mr. Craig for later.

 

But here's what I think of Bond...he's a pussy. Everyone thinks his whole Martini act is uber cool but come on, after hitting the legal drinking age and countless head in the toilet bowl scenes, anyone who knows anything bout drinks would know that a Martini (be it a Dirty, Vodka or even Lychee) is usually served stirred. And you know why? Cause if you stir it, it maintains the consistency of the mixture of drinks and most importantly, it doesn't freaking break the ice and dilutes the drink. So when it's shaken not stirred, you're getting a pussified version of a drink. Might as well ask the bartender to add ice water to the drink and serve it up. You'd sorta get the same thing. Hence why all you idiots taking your martinis shaken are prolly being laughed at by everyone else at the barside, including the bartender.

 

That being said, Bond is everything but a pussy. I mean seriously, you've got the cars, the kickass gadgets, a license to beat the shit outta anyone and still look good doing it. Of course you can't forget the women and that Bond is seemingly immune to all known sexually transmitted diseases and still manages to get the next chick with the current chick still on his other hand. The heck, I wanna be Bond....pussy martinis or not.

 

"Yes, madam, I am drunk. But in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." ~ Winston Churchill

 

Madonna ~ Die Another Day